Times

I love when I stumble upon a worship song that might as well have been God holding my hand saying... Alli, I have got you.  This morning I was listening to Pandora and the song Times by Tenth Avenue North came on the station.  I had not yet heard this song although I have been a fan of Tenth Avenue North for a while.  This song hit me like a ton of bricks.

Growing up is hard, and lately it has felt heavy.  Learning how to be navigate this every changing world when things feel out of control or not as I would have planned... how silly of me to continue to act as though I hold the reigns when my ever present God is telling me to stop and trust Him.  Here are the lyrics to this powerful reminder of God's love:

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

God's love never ends...so why do I doubt it so?  Reminding myself today that God's love never ends despite my missteps, my lack of faith, my ever present need to control it and do it myself when nothing I have done or achieved is even remotely without God's hand on my life.  He has put me where I am for such a time as this.  Now on to believing that... 

Breakfast and a Blog- Christmas Edition

Merry Christmas dear friends.  As the chaos of the week leading up to Christmas finally calms and the presents have been opened I love spending time relaxing with family and focusing on the amazing plan of our Savior. 

One of my favorite songs that highlights God’s love and provision is by Reliant K and it shares the Sovereignty of our God and His plan. God gave Jesus in the form of an infant who would become our King and salvation.  “And the first time that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior and the first breath that left Your lips did You know that it would change this world forever…and I, celebrate the day, that you were born to die, so I could one day pray for you to save my life.”

I am a planner by nature, but this year has taught me that there is so much that I cannot control.  It helps my perspective to realize that God is in control and that thousands of years ago He made a way to protect me and save me…. talk about a reason to feel peace. 

“Sing for joy, all the Earth.  Messiah’s come to set you free.  Join the angels in their song, Glory Be.”   Praying peace for you today and the knowledge that God has “got this”.  He is in control.  Praise the Lord! 

Breakfast and a Blog Week 3

Relationship:

A wise graduate school professor once told me that people are hurt through relationship and therefore must be healed by relationship.  I have based a lot of my understanding of people, counseling and caring for others through this thought.  We are relational creatures who need care and support from those around us…healing through relationship.  Imagine a world where we mean it when we ask how one another are doing and spend time to listen to the answer. 

Last weekend I went and saw The Silver Linings Playbook starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence.  I chose it initially because they are two of my faves (hello Bradley’s blue eyes!) but it turned out to be much different that I expected.  It told the story of two characters who suffered from symptoms of mental illness that other people did not understand.  Both characters had been hurt through relationship… feeling broken and in need of healing.  Those around them didn’t know how to help, although they tried but it was once they started helping each other that they started to become more whole.  The cracks in their hearts began to come back together and I teared up watching hope return to their lives.  A life without hope has no where to go, but once hope returns so much more is possible. 

I know that I read too much into this story, but sometimes that is what makes movies great.  We can watch a story line but allow it to speak to us and remind us of something from our past.  I loved being reminded of the relational aspect of human beings.  The need to be cared for but also the need to care for others….that is what I reflect on over my oatmeal this Monday morning.  I hope that each of you feel cared for this morning and that you have at least one go-to person when you need to feel more whole… whether that be someone to dance with in the living room to music that is too loud, eating an entire pint of ice cream or finding something to laugh out loud about… find what helps heal your heart and be brave enough to ask for it.  You are worth it. 

Breakfast and a Blog Week 2

Last week’s post initially started as one of thankfulness following Thanksgiving but in true Allison form I got on a tangent and feel as though I didn’t fully write on thankfulness.  As the Advent season has started, it is as important as ever to remind myself to put on my attitude of gratitude (yes, ladies and gents… I am corny) and focus on the grace and sovereignty of this God that I call Father.  I emphasize sovereign lately when I think about God because I realize that I am not in control.  I have all of these wild ideas about what my life should look like and how things should be when in all reality I am called to follow God’s word, trust in Him and know that He has this under control. 

Nichole Nordeman is a Christian singer that I have loved for years and she came out with a song several years ago about gratitude but it also is a reminder to look for what we can be learning when we think God didn’t hear our prayers.  Here is a link to her video for Gratitude so that you can listen along. She says that “we give thanks to you, with gratitude, for lessons learned” and then will go on to explain the initial request and then what can be learned.  What a perspective changer to think of what I can be learning rather than what I didn’t get or what God missed.  God doesn’t miss.  I misunderstand. 

This time of year can be filled with so many different things ranging from gratitude and love to fear and greed.  It is important for me, and maybe also for you, to take time to remain grateful and joyful for what this season truly stands for.  I love the hymns that come out this time of year…Joyful, Joyful.  Go Tell it on the Mountain, Joy to the World are just a few that remind us of the sacrificial plan that started by our savior being born in a manger.  God has unending, unbelievable and incredibly merciful plans for us.  They started in Bethlehem and they continue today.  Now isn’t that something to be grateful for!?!  As I sit at my computer this morning, a bit too tired for a Monday, I want to remind myself that yes I hope to see gifts under the tree this Christmas but what I am most grateful for is the love of God and the plan that saves me.  Happy Advent Season y’all.  Praying for you this Monday morning. 

Breakfast and a Blog Week 1

Wow, well I feel as though I have really outdone myself this time at my ability to avoid writing.  With all of the thoughts racing in and out of my brain day in and day out, one would think that harnessing those thoughts would be an attractive idea.  Instead, I choose to ignore, avoid, run away or attempt to quiet the chaos.  Almost weekly I have the thought “I really miss my blog” or “I should write about fill in the blank” yet I never sit down for long enough to actually put hands to keyboard.  So here it is… I want to change that.  Initially I had though “I am going to make myself write EVERY day for a week, month, etc” but let’s be honest… I would fail quickly and those who know me know that I do not like to fail.  So I decided to at least commit to weekly, Monday morning blog posts written over breakfast.  I am a morning person by nature (thanks mama Hock) and tend to do my best work before 10am anyway so hopefully at least 1 blog post a week can begin to happen as I work to reign in the thoughts going wild in my mind. 

As this week is the week following Thanksgiving, I couldn’t escape gratitude as the topic on my mind as I eat my oatmeal and peanut butter this morning (If you haven’t tried that, you should…yum!).  I am truly blessed beyond measure and as I sat with one of my two lovely nieces in my arms this week and the smells of a Mama Hock cooked meal in the kitchen I realized that no matter the hustle and bustle of a stressful job, the day in and day out to do list that never feels accomplished and the struggles of figuring out what I am to be doing next in life, I am loved and taken care of by those around me and therefore I am incredibly grateful.  More importantly, I have the love, forgiveness and protection of a loving Heavenly Father who has provided and is providing for me in every way possible, even when I cannot see that provision.  Recently a word has been sticking out to me, I feel as though I see it everywhere.  That word is patience and that one is difficult for me.  I like control, I like knowing what is coming next and when it will be arriving, I like knowing what to expect…all of which are not always conducive to being patient.  This week at church, our pastor referenced a passage in 2 Peter which I found to be another reminder that I need to be patient, as stated in The Message, passionately patient.  The passage reads:

Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust. So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.
So, friends, confirm God’s invitation to you, his choice of you. Don’t put it off; do it now. Do this, and you’ll have your life on a firm footing, the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:3-11 The Message

Praying for you this morning dear friends that you may also hear the Word of the Lord and find the firm footing for your life, which again is something that I am grateful for this Holiday season. 

Focus

It goes without saying but it has been too long since I have posted.  As I look back at previous posts, I realize I do this often.  I write, I break, I write, I break.  I have been meaning to update for months but it has been difficult to find the time or the focus.  Recently I have been working to improve my ability to focus.  I had to ask myself, what do I want out of this life and how do I get it.  This question has lead to more time working out, a better focus on my own health, increased time spent reading and taking “self care” through a difficult job and remembering to focus on my self, my loved ones and my dreams.  It means taking the time to remember to write and not get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday live.  As we all know it can be so easy to get lost. 

This week I was doing my now routine 5am work out and the song Real by plumb came on.  The song that sparked my blog title and my desire to remember the importance of personal authenticity surprised me on one of my work out mixes somewhere between Soulja Boy and the Black Eyed Peas.  The idea of being who we are and embracing that identity means we first must know who we are.  Focus.  I almost feel as though I have already lost that in this post but we all know that I can ramble.  I believe at this point in my life I am at a turning point, a realization that in order to achieve what I would like to and be the person that I desire I cannot be passive and hope for things to happen but rather embrace my power and strength as a woman and as a child of God and focus on how to accomplish that list of dreams that runs through my head at 5am.  Let me tell you, I was surprised how much could be accomplished so early. 

For now, let me leave you with this.  My hope is that you will believe that you can...

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