I love when I stumble upon a worship song that might as well have been God holding my hand saying... Alli, I have got you. This morning I was listening to Pandora and the song Times by Tenth Avenue North came on the station. I had not yet heard this song although I have been a fan of Tenth Avenue North for a while. This song hit me like a ton of bricks.
Growing up is hard, and lately it has felt heavy. Learning how to be navigate this every changing world when things feel out of control or not as I would have planned... how silly of me to continue to act as though I hold the reigns when my ever present God is telling me to stop and trust Him. Here are the lyrics to this powerful reminder of God's love:
I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?
I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
God's love never ends...so why do I doubt it so? Reminding myself today that God's love never ends despite my missteps, my lack of faith, my ever present need to control it and do it myself when nothing I have done or achieved is even remotely without God's hand on my life. He has put me where I am for such a time as this. Now on to believing that...
