I think I can, I think I can.

From childhood we are given an “I can do attitude” and stories to show how all dreams can be accomplished.  A the mantra that I was raised with for this attitude came from the classic children’s book The Little Engine that Could and a character who repeated over and over again “I think I can, I think I can” until he was able to successfully achieve his goal of getting the train over the big mountain.  A more recent version of this, in my opinion, comes from Finding Nemo and the lovable character of Dorie (voiced by the amazing Ellen Degeneres) who tells her new friend to not worry but to “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” 

These last few weeks as I close one chapter of my life, begin a new one and feel completely overwhelmed with each step of the journey I find myself trying to remember these mantras.  Just this morning in the shower I was flooded with thoughts of being overwhelmed but I was reminded of little Dorie and her just keep swimming attitude.  Then a funny thing happened, I was reminded of the Biblical nature of this mantra and how silly it is that it is easier for me to remember that a little engine or a blue fish told me I could do it yet ignore my Heavenly Father’s constant promise that I can do this (Phil. 4:13), that I am not alone (Hebrews 13:5) and that I should not worry (Matt. 6:35).  Over and over in the Bible God shows His provisional power for His children and His desire to take care of us.  He is in control, I am not yet I fret and lose sleep as though I am the one in charge here.  Two years ago I had a good friend give me a book for my birthday that I knew looked good but put it on the bookshelf for another day.  I recently picked it back up and I have been immensely blessed by the words so eloquently written by Max Lucado.  His book, Traveling Light: Releasing the Burdens You Were Never Intended to Bear takes a walk through Psalm 23 and the realistic way that God, our Shepherd, loves us, provides for us and is with us on each step of our journeys.  I know for me, Psalm 23 is a chapter that I have grown up with but I had become complacent to just how deep these words are and the impact that trusting them could have for my stress level.  If you have a spare minute this week, check it out and take a minute to think about how God cares for us.  I just have to remind myself to keep focused on His word and His version of the “I can do it” mantras.  God is Good. 

hide your wives, hide your kids and hide your husbands...

So the stomach flu sucks. Obviously this is not a highly debated argument because what could possibly be fun about being so sick that even laying down doesn’t feel good. That is me today. So rather than simply complain in self pity I thought I would entertain all of us. I do apologize for the little bit of complaining. I am the baby of my family and complaining when I don’t feel well is what I do!

So without further ado let me tell you that I have been trying to avoid this stomach flu for over a week. Last Tuesday my brother and his wife who I live with were sick with the flu and then sweet little Harlowe got it but I had managed to remain flu free for a week! Then last night it hit me and all I could think of was the video attached to this post. Antoine Dodson because well known via youtube as his interview about his sister’s attack was auto-tuned and remixed into quite the entertaining little song. The reason that it seemed fitting for today and my stomach flu is because Antoine Dodson gives the excellent advice to “hide your wives, hide your kids and hide your husbands” and although I am not at all trying to equate his sister’s attack with the stomach flu… I felt like it was out to get me so I was hiding! In this video, Hayley Williams of Paramore (who, side-note, is one of my favorite people) recorded a punk-rock version of this interview with Ethan Luck, known for his work with the O.C. Supertones and Reliant K and Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory. In the world of entertaining youtube videos this one is pretty epic and always brightens my day. So I hope that it can brighten your day
too!

Live

Over the weekend I watched several movies as I worked through my pile of notes and papers that I am organizing in preparation for my graduate school exit exam (yay!).  One of these movies was Its Kind of a Funny Story starring two of my faves, Emma Roberts and Zach Galifanakis as well as a newcomer Keir Gilchrist who effectively portrays a high school student becoming overwhelmed by all that is his life.  As a psychology major I have always been fascinated by movies involving mental illness and this one was exceptionally good in its honest portrayal of the many levels of mental illness and the impact of stress on our mental well-being. 

As a quote person and as someone who is actively working to embrace life no matter what that looks like, the last scene of the movie was fabulously simple.  It involves Keir checking out of the psychiatric ward and talking about what his life will not be like.  Although there are portions of this quote that clearly mean nothing to my own life (like making out with Noelle, obviously), but I believe that you can get the idea that I am going for here.  Keir’s character Craig ends the movie by saying:

“Okay, I know you're thinking, "What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?" But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe... Live.”

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the things of life that we forget that living is a blessing in and of itself.  Waking up each morning with air in my lungs and the potential that each day brings is the blessing that God has given us and I know that I personally desire to choose to embrace each day and to focus on the positive rather than the negative.  I choose to skip anyway. 

Check it out

Girl Time

A seriously underrated activity is the art of girl time.  In our busy lives we can get so wrapped up in the long list of “to-do’s” that spending some quality time with women who challenge us, comfort us and make us better versions of ourselves can be put on the back burner but this should not be the case.  I have been insurmountably blessed with both quantity and quality in regard to great girl friends.  Whether our time together be separated by distance and therefore our quality time involves emails, telephone calls and cards or we are geographically capable of girls weekends, movie nights or shared cups of coffee I am so grateful for the women in my life who help me recharge my batteries.  We laugh together, cry together and single handedly take on the problems of the world one latte at a time.  No length of time between talks can change the overwhelming support and care that I feel for these women and from these women and I thank God for them.  So my challenge today, if you have great girl friends in your life make sure that they know how much you love and appreciate them.  I hope each day that the female superpowers who touch my life know their importance and feel a big Alli hug today!  I am truly blessed.  And just to jazz up your Saturday, here is a little female superpower who is teaching me each day what love is all about! 

My niece, Harlowe

Uncharted

“Compare, where you are to where you want to be, and you’ll get nowhere”

I love Sara Bareilles.  Her music can instantly put me in a good mood and her lyrics are well-written, insightful and usually challenging to some situation that I am currently facing.  One year ago today I quit my stable, full time job and focused primarily on grad school.  Although I was nervous about how it would all work, I had great supporters (hi mom and dad!) and I am now on track to graduate in less than two months!  Why I love Sara B. is because her lyrics tend to be deeper than the usual “I love life, I love everything, let’s go drink” chatter that can fill a radio station but instead they provide thought provoking ideas like the one above.  Telling us to not to compare is not a statement against planning for the future, it is about living in the moment.  I am a planner, but I also find myself wishing my time away.  I want to be _____.  You can fill in the blank.  What do we wish for so much that we can not truly appreciate our current life circumstances?  The opportunity to leave work and focus only on school is a once in a lifetime chance that I was given.   Because of this opprortunity I was also able to have quite the flexible schedule which allowed me to travel, hangout with friends and family and most importantly be a part-time nanny to my newborn niece for a few months.  So as I could be busy comparing the fact that I am an unemployed student and I desire to be a full-time counselor in the future I choose to enjoy each moment of student life until I have to trade it in for a 9-5. 

PS. The video for Uncharted is super adorable.  Enjoy

Lipstick Fades?

Lipstick fades.  These two words come from a song that I have loved since high school.  I remember vividly as a seventeen year old who was trying to define herself I would sing these lyrics and wonder what twenty-three would look like.  It felt so far away and I had dreams and aspirations of what I thought my future “should be”.  I then recall my twenty-third birthday and realizing that not only had my preconceived notions been incorrect, but I remember again singing this song and wondering what twenty-three would hold.  Now I look at twenty-five and again… my plans are usually wrong but unlike the seventeen year old me that is okay.  I now focus on something other than plans when I listen to the lyrics of this song.  I focus on the title.  Real.  What does it mean to be real and how has the real girl who was seventeen, overly confident and secretly fearful changed into the real, twenty-four year old who is somewhat confident and openly fearful.  In all “realness” I can embrace the conundrum of being fearful but not scared.  I can embrace that fear often comes with starting a new journey and that for me fear can motivate to accomplishment.  At this point I have already gotten ahead of myself.  Here are the lyrics:

Plumb- Real

Look at me I'm twenty three
Beautiful a sight to see
Tonight

A little dress to draw the press
And I'll be leaving
All the rest behind

Well be pleased girl
If this is what you wanted
The whole world is watching you take the stage
What will you say

Aren't I lovely
And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real

I close my eyes imagine time
Will not forget
My sacrifice

I numb the ache and decorate
My emptiness
Stand naked in the light

Well be pleased world
If this is what you wanted
This young girl is everything that you made
What will she say

Aren't I lovely
And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real

The world goes home
The lights go down
My lipstick fades
Away

And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real

From seventeen to almost twenty-five these words have remained a small thought that tends to pop in my head.  The lyrics in particular just jump into my consciousness almost every day and I hum a few bars before heading on to the next thing which demands my attention.  Why these lyrics have stuck in my head for years I do not know.  I have my assumptions, some of which include the fact that the longer I write on here the more you will notice that music lyrics tend to stick with me, possibly the fact that this particular song came about during a time in my life where I really was searching for identity and as the song says “something real” or maybe it is because without knowing it this song somewhat defines why I am motivated in my future career and my desire for realness both in myself and for those that I have the chance to help in a time of need.  Real.  This is something that we are flooded with on television and in the media with “reality” television and a push for no longer holding on to secrets but how real are we with one another?  At any moment how many people know the real version of us rather than the façade that we choose to portray to each person that we come in contact with?  I know that I have facades.  Sure, I would love to act as though I am genuine at all times and I do believe that I am on journey on genuineness yet it is difficult to always be who you are…for better or for worse.  The name of this blog comes from the lyrics of this song and that at the end of the day the lipstick fades and we are who we are.  So who do you want that to be?  I guess all I can say for now is stay tuned!

Hello Blogging, I'm Allison

So in theory this blog has been developing for a few months as I pondered if I would even have anything to fill a page.  Thoughts would pop in my head or I would find something fun to share and I would feel inspired to write it all down.  Finally I realized that as I prepare to graduate from grad school and embark on a new journey of "adulthood" this could be the perfect time to also embark on a new creative journey and therefore this blog was born!  As I post I hope it can be an introduction to who I am, what inspires me and a sneak peak at this thing I call life.  So hi, I'm Allison and it is wonderful to meet you!

xoxo